I grew up in a time when people passed strangers on the street and in acknowledgement of one another an exchange of gentle nods would transpire or in some instances the words, “How do you do?” were spoken. Motorcyclists would wave hello to other motorcyclists and truck drivers would acknowledge other truck drivers – as if to acknowledge the connection with one another. Traffic jams would result in allowing a driver to change lanes in exchange for a friendly wave of a hand in gratitude.

The epidemic of electronic devices has transformed our connections to emails, tweets and text messaging. http://ilookbothways.com/ reported 8 trillion text messages were sent in 2011. http://blogtwitter.com reported 140 million tweets transpire monthly. In passing people today, most of the time their gaze affixes upon their smartphone in hand. Catching someone’s gaze to exchange a gentle nod seems almost impossible and has become cumbersome and problematic in the business world.

To combat this epidemic, movie theaters, fast food restaurants, offices and other places have posted signs to patrons “no cell phones” often to be ignored by the cell phone user. Yesterday, I took my mother to a doctor’s appointment and on the counter a sign stood tall, “no cell phones.” A man stepped up to the counter with his cell phone in hand and proceeded to finish texting before acknowledging the nurse. Obviously, this was not abnormal or the sign would not have been posted.

I have observed people pulling their cell phones out of the pockets or purses in both social outings and business appointments – often times with their children in tow. Their cell phones seemingly attached to each person like an umbilical cord. They lay in wait on the table and vibrate demanding attention like that of a child. Checking their phones, a person announces “Oh, it’s just Jeff; I can call him back later.” It’s as if they need constant assurance that attending their current event was more important than what might be ringing in on their cell phone. In essence, telling everyone else at the table, that our personal company was only as good as the next important phone call.

Dr. Saarni, a leading expert in social competency skills, indicates that children learn specific emotional behaviors, norms and symbols for their culture as an unintended result of social interaction. Dr. Saarni’s theory seems to be an accurate depiction of what’s taking place in our society. When children attend these events – they mirror their parent’s manners – emulating their every move. They detached themselves from the conversation and plug into their smartphones clutched into their hands – putting the adults on hold as obviously the children had something better to do.

Our world has dramatically changed. The transactions on our cell phones trump our personal connections. This culture’s being transmitted electronically into the hands of our children. Some may call me “old-fashioned” but I would readily revisit the days of gentle nods or a welcomed “how do you do?” I am all for the advances of technology – just not at the expense of the company that I keep. What about you?

Several weeks ago I had the opportunity to attend the “You Are My Superhero” exhibit at the Dayton Art Institute. The discoveries found and exhibits seen were interesting.

In Mike Benton’s The Comic Book in America: An Illustrated History, he argues that seven superheroes stand out as most historically important: Superman (for being first), Batman (for being “non-super”) Wonder Woman (for being female), Spider-Man (for being complicated), Captain American (for being most patriotic), Captain Marvel (for being the best selling of all time, not counting speculation sales of a few first-in-the-series issues in the 90’s) and Plastic Man (for being the first parody).

Superman’s creators, author Jerry Siegel and illustrator Joe Shuster, were high school buddies from Cleveland, Ohio. Superman started out in 1933 as a villain, but quickly transformed to a caped do-gooder with bulletproof skin and the ability to leap an eighth of a mile.

Technically, superheroes have superpowers, but every now and then we find one who is solely armed with his or her wits and natural ability. Batman is the most well known. A display read “You Know When You See One” and described how we distinguish superheroes by the individual symbols with which they are associated, their costumes, sigils (the emblems on their chests) and disguises and their superpowers often have visual consequences, with bodies that stretch like plastic or grown animal features like gills and claws.

Just how powerful are these images? McCrary’s research in 1999 suggested that children’s artwork learned moral values from superheroes they watched on television.  In 2002, Lerner’s research discovered that people are intrinsically motivated to believe in a just world, which seems to explain why superheroes routinely engage in epic battles of evil versus good.

Interestingly, for girls, female superheroes have been a small minority, but have been in existence since the 1940’s. Mary Marvel was introduced in 1942 just one year after Wonder Woman. As individual rather than a superhero family, Wonder Woman began in a feminist mode. Her character changed with the times and in the 1950’s she became more powerful and more independent.

The entrance sign to the exhibit read in part “of this crop of superheroes, some have perfect principals and clear motivations – some are flawed and more than a little frightening – many have undergone ‘makeovers’ that mirror how we perceive ourselves and our increasingly complex world. We dream of being powerful. We dream of being safe. And each one of us wants to overcome our own flawed character and imperfect past to achieve something in this world. People create superheroes that reflect basic human desire to do good and be good.”

Who is your superhero? What superpower would you like to have?

Two years ago, my mom adopted Baxter – pictured above coming home from the pound http://www.mcohio.org/animalshelter. He was six years old and was being offered as a “senior to senior” special for $20. When Baxter hugged on her legs, as if to say “take me home” mom couldn’t resist – even though he was a bit bigger dog than she planned on. Two weeks later, mom was walking Baxter and bent over to pick something up. Baxter saw something interesting and tugged on the leash, knocking mom off balance. Mom fell and broke her finger. She called me and said, “Baxter’s too much for me – if you don’t want him, I’m going to have to take him back to the pound.” My husband and I quickly agreed to round out our family to 4 members – as Emma, our half-border collie and half-great Pyrenees welcomed our new addition.

On one of our first outings, Baxter and I went to meet our life-long friend and her new puppy at the dog park. When someone new entered the park, Baxter walked up to them, sat down by their feet and leaned into them as if to give them a hug. Repeatedly he did this and was dubbed by those in the park as the Walmart greeter.

Seemingly unfazed by me playing with the puppy in the middle of the park, Baxter found contentment and joy as he laid down next to a man and woman on the bench. Baxter befriended the woman and was able to penetrate her wall of fears surrounding big dogs as one had recently knocked her over which resulted in a broken arm. At the end of their visit, she was petting Baxter.

Our newly acquired friends in the park thought he would be a natural pet therapy dog. So we called the Miami Valley Pet Therapy Association and signed up for classes. We have since graduated and Baxter has been doing what he loves and does best – being with people and spreading joy. It could be said that we “rescued” Baxter, but I must admit that he rescued me – as he reminds me that joy can be found in unlikely places and at the most unexpected times. Baxter, this blogs for you!

In developing social competency skills, Saarni suggests that eight skills are needed – with the first one being aware of one’s own emotional state. In counseling young children, we have found feeling balloons very useful.  We found the 20″ balloons the best to use because the balloon deflates slowly allowing one to reuse it for multiple days in a row.  Typically, we will use the red balloon to depict an angry feeling, a blue balloon to demonstrate a sad feeling and yellow to show a happy feeling.  A counselor can use the balloons as follows:

1. Have the child pick (out of the three balloons) which one represents how he/she felt for the majority of the week.
2. Pass the sad balloon around (if parents involved, include them in this activity) and ask the child when he/she feels sad. Repeat this with the glad balloon and the mad balloon.
3. Describe an event – like dropping your ice cream cone and then ask the child to select the balloon that would represent how he/she would likely feel.

We often reward the child at the end of the session by allowing the child to take home one of the balloons.  We have found this activity a fun, easy way for the child to learn to name, label and express their feelings.

As I officially begin my blog, I would like to thank Harry Couch, my mentor, for all of his help and connections that have resulted in our first sale of Sparky Tales. And I would like to thank Debbie Sterling, Founder of GoldieBlox, for inspiring and encouraging me to “GO FOR IT!!” which involves me following in Debbie’s footsteps by entering Sparky Tales on Kickstarter beginning October 18, 2012.

My interest in anger began while working in the Court system. It seemed that every child that walked into the Court did so with a “chip” on their shoulder. At 4:00 a.m. on an early fall morning, I was jolted from a deep sleep into a sit-up-in-bed position and was divinely inspired by the story. I knew and felt in that moment that it was not “my” story but that I was simply the conduit of distribution and for over 10 plus years in some form or fashion, I have tendered it as such. Of recent, though, I must admit that I have half-jokingly told my family and friends that I would like to return the story to sender due to the lack of progress and repeated obstacles.

Sparky Tales, a bibliotherapy-based (a story with therapeutic value) has been designed to develop social competency skills in children and decrease their aggressive responses by utilizing metaphors, concrete tools, repetitive examples and “hands on,” interactive components, with plans in place to establish a top performing website. The breadth and depth of its development far exceeds anything in the marketplace. Sparky Tales’ significance has repeatedly been proven by research with one result demonstrating that being socially competent in Kindergarten predicts a child’s success over and above their IQ or family background.

Children relate to the stories two main characters; Kelly, a 12-year old girl who has a miserable, rotten life and wears a “chip” on her shoulder as proof and Sparky, a 500-year old star who takes Kelly to the Galaxy All-Star Camp to become a star in her own right. Sparky, an emotion Icon, fills the void that currently exists in schools and the marketplace.

Please meet our friend, Kelly. Kelly reacts before she thinks. Her impulsive tendencies tend to move her from project to project without finishing them. She lacks confidence. Kelly can be selfish, overly emotional, naive, and idealistic and has an imagination without any boundaries. She’s easily angered. Kelly’s biggest obstacle remains herself. – I AM Kelly.

Meet our friend Sparky. Sparky can light up a room by simply walking into it. He’s grounded in harmonious relationships – particularly the one with himself. He’s authentic, genuine, confident, and inspires others to be their best self. He’s even tempered and thinks before he acts. He’s kind to others and quick to offer a helping hand. Sparky believes in the Golden Rule. I AM Sparky.

The beauty of both Kelly and Sparky involves the child’s ability to relate to both of them. They recognize the traits of each character. The children realize that in each and every moment, we have a CHOICE – we either choose to be more like Kelly or we choose to be more like Sparky. So as you go about your day today, think about your choice in each and every moment. Will you choose to be more like Kelly, or more like Sparky?  It’s your choice!